Being a Domestic Goddess is like pulling a band-aid off…

Some days you rip that sucker off hair and all. You feel invincible because you were able to grab that band-aid without fear of end results and yank it off. And that’s admirable of you for doing such a thing even though you knew you were going to loose a hunk of body hair and it would not only be painful before and yes after the deed was done but you now have a bald spot to go along with the scare from the original injury.

Other days you wet the band-aid and work a tiny little bit then stop and question whether it’s the right time to take off. Maybe the band-aid should stay on for another day, hour or yes even a minute at this point sounds reasonable. You get out a little lotion to try working around the band-aid to lessen the total hair-skin ripping affect. You run water over it in hope that the waterproof guarantee was just advertising and it really will wash itself loose. And finally after agonizing over this task and working at it for several minutes, hours or even all day it finally works itself off. You still have a bald spot to go along with the original injury but it’s FINALLY done.

Well that’s the way I face being a Domestic Goddess. Some days armed with my “To Do List” I tackle every task with a vengeance. I plow right through all the gory details of clean without a care that it’s disgusting and full of germs. I’m forging a path with my Clorox clean-up, duster, vacuum cleaner and mop. I’m making my home free of the evils of dust-bunnies and germs to gross to even think about. When I’m done there is no dust to settle or germs to infect. My list is clear and I feel invincible in my ability to tackle any thing on my “To Do List” in an expedient and efficient manner. I’m simply a Goddess.

Then there are the real life days when I look at my list and wonder how in the hell I’m going to finish it much less survive all the evil attacking dust bunnies and germs ready to invade my body and cause me unmentionable pain and illness. Yes, that’s why they call them germs. They are sitting there on the toilet and floor waiting for me. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen them rubbing their grubby little hands together when you walk in the bathroom…”Oh boy, let me at that sexy goddess so I can make her body quiver and flame with all my infectious charm and she will think twice before she invades my castle with her smelly bleach.”

And don’t even get me started on the warm fuzzies waiting for me under the bed or in the corner. I don’t even know how they got the name dust bunnies cause those rabid creatures are just waiting to attack your ankles when you walk in the room with the vacuum cleaner. Then they hop right back under the bed or behind the end table to hide from your vacuum cleaner’s sucking power.

Yes, some days you spend an inordinate amount of time pondering the best way to attack these tasks without actually touching the surfaces or at least tackling them with the least amount of contact. You’ve tried all those gadgets and widgets touting great success in busting all the floating particles and pathogens with the least amount of effort and-or contact with said particles and pathogens.

You look at Martha and wonder how she scrubs her bathroom without wanting to don a haz-mat suit complete with oxygen tank. Then you remember she didn’t have a teenage son and was working in corporate America when her daughter was a teenager so you can excuse her “whistle while you work” attitude.

So after much pondering the problem and the outcome of coming in contact with those monstrous bugs and bunnies you trudge through your tasks as best you can. You take as many time-outs to wash your hands, grab a cup of coffee and meditate on how you are every going to make it though the ridiculous list you started with. You question the wisdom of becoming a Domestic Goddess in the first place. You never really cared to keep up with your own room and clothes before you had a husband and a child to handle too. Can you give up your addiction to buying books to pay for someone else to clean this mess…HA…like that would happen?

Finally the end of the day has arrived and your house isn’t as clean as you know it should be but when the husband and teenager walk in you are at least gifted with the fact they didn’t point out your failings. The teenager doesn’t even notice a change and the husband thinks you’re a Goddess and he is blessed to have you…*G*. Or at least he’s glad he didn’t have to tackle the job himself.

No matter which category you fall into, give yourself a clean tub to relax in cause at the end of your treacherous day you need to pamper yourself. And remember, besides the ol’…grass is always greener crap…no one else is going to do it and they will think you are fabulous because you did…if they don’t there’s always the threat of them doing it themselves…*G*.

So go forth and make your self a legend in your own mind because a positive self imagine is one of the most important things you can give yourself…and besides it’s cheap and easy to boot.